that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
