youre lurking in front of me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
