This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
