man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
