Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
