butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
