why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
