im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
