i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Come on in and take your pants off
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