Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
