Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
