The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
should my penis look like a turkey
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize