my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it hurts more in the daytime
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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