Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
