If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
