we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
