The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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