So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
