I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
