I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize