Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
