I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
