did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
