I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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