watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
