Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
