I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im drinking this country out of the recession.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
