Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
