I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
