So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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