it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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