I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
