fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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