i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
