There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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