I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
