I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
