I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
