Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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