He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Drake has all the answers
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
