i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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