dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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