your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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