:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
