I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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