If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
