Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
