I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
