Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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