I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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