I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize