At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
