in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
