we're blogging at a bar
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
