Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
