butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Of course I have a pirate flag
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
