By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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