Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
