just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
