Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
