I am in a vortex of obligation.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
