just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
